My "green wounds of revenge" were aching knowing they shouldn't be there

 

"This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge, keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal, and do well." - Francis Bacon

The quote I have selected to highlight up above was like a dagger in my heart. 

I found this beautiful collection of essays by Francis Bacon in my university book-store, and as vain and stupid as it may sound: I couldn't resist how gorgeous the cover was and thought: "I just have to have it".

But: oh, dear Lord, has this book been more than just a pretty thing sitting on a bookshelf.

As I have just mentioned, it contains a collection of compeltely differently-themed essays. They're very short, but extremely poignant. They're honest, acidly humouristic and very much essential. I wanted to talk especifically about Bacon's essay "On Revenge", which is the one I extracted the quote from. 

To be quite honest, I picked this up when I was going through a sort of break-up(?). Let's just say it was a break-up. And, although I never actually did anything to get back at the people who hurt me, I never felt like those wounds had yet closed for me. I just kept hurting silently. Without telling others. But worse of it all is that I kept smiling when I heard something bad had happened to them. Nothing too harsh. I didn't wish them any bad. But, I also didn't wish them good. And I felt some sort of pleasure when I knew they could be hurt just as much as I had been hurt by them.

And that is not okay.

I am not a person who wants to have those thoughts. I don't want to be like that. And, yet: I was. 

Therefore, reading that first essay on the book was something I didn't see coming. I felt like it pushed me against the wall. And it did. Because it was so truthful. And I needed that.

I, not only realised that I had to change because it was not okay for me to feel those things. I, also, came to see that the people that hurt me couldn't have done any other thing for me, just as the essay says:

 "And if any man should do wrong, merely out of ill-nature, why, yet it is but like the thorn or briar, which prick and scratch, because they can do no other."

There are people in this world who don't know how to do good. OR, how to do YOU good. Sometimes, things don't work out. And you'll be hurt. But you've got to let go. And you will do so if you set your mind to it.

I know I'm usually a very cheerful and bubbly person, which I believe does come across in my writing. But, I believe this book to be necessary for us young ones, who are living in such a crazy world that promotes being sassy over being kind, and being cool over being good. It is a shame that we're obsessed with the way people perceive us, so that we look amazing in their eyes, but don't actually take the time to consider whether what we're doing is right.

Sorry for all of this deep-talk if you're probably just here in the search of a little bit of a comedic review. I just had some thoughts to share. And if you like these kinds of posts, I will make sure to search for more inspiring books like this one.

I hope you have a wonderful day!

My Spanish copy of "Sabiduría Egoísta" can be found in Taurus' "Great Ideas" collection.

Shirt: @sferaofficial
Glasses: @rayban .